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After 37 Years, I Finally Found MY Perfect


Today, I accept imperfection because who defines perfect anyway?

When I was younger, I always thought I would make a great Mom.

When I got married, I thought I'd stay married forever.

Before my son even entered school, I just knew I would be the best supplement to his education.

I was certain I would practice fair but stern discipline.

I wasn't sure I'd always be able to feed my son the "best" foods for him, but I darn sure tried and we would ALWAYS eat dinner at the table.

I wanted my son to make good grades.

I wanted my son to graduate high school and go off to college.

My weekends would consist of family day trips.

There was no way in the world my son was getting a car unless he paid for it himself, along with the insurance.

Everyone would do their fair share of chores and no one would ever leave the toilet seat up.

There might be a broken bone or two from sports or other extracurricular activites.

I never thought I'd weigh more than the day I gave birth to my son.

The fact is, none of this really ever happened. except I did surpass the birth day weight.

I'm an imperfect Mom. That might be the understatement of the year, but (I think) my son loves me.

My marriage ended just after my son turned one. I learned a lot from it and fourteen years after that, I finally found the one.

As far as education goes, times have changed. It's more challenging to me than it is to my son. In late middle school, my son got more frustrated when I tried to help him.

Discipline? What's that? Well, I kinda lucked out. The kid has stayed out of (major) trouble; the usual shenanigans for a teen. He's made some mistakes, but after long, deep conversations, tears on both sides, we worked it out.

Sometimes we eat food that's bad for us, but my son has had the opportunity to experience so many different cuisines that if we have a few bad days every now and then and that's what brings us to the dinner table or the coffee table or simply eating in the same area, then so be it. I feel for the girl he marries. Kid has got expensive taste.

I wanted my son to make good grades (A/B to me), but what is a good grade worth in a subject that you have absolutely no use for when you already know what you want to be when you grow up? The kid got his HTML 5 Certified Developer Certificate before he graduates high school. The path that was "right" for me may not be right for him.

We missed a lot of the family day trips I wanted to have for many years, but we're doing our best to catch up.

The car thing...eh, that's another story. In short, I "inherited" an "extra" car as a cosigner from someone who defaulted on the loan. My son pays for his insurance. On the imperfect Mom note, I don't have to drive him to work.

Chores, schmores! We're all too tired. We do need to work on this. As far as the toilet seat goes, I guess I'd rather have someone to bark at about the toilet seat than no one at all. For the record, it's not the teen. I was reminded of this today at work, when a man who recently lost his wife to a sudden Aneurysm encouraged another colleague to savor his anniversary, depsite said colleagues animosity towards his wife.

Fortunately, there were no broken bones, though I would have liked to see my son get off the computer every now and then. He's doing what he loves. That's what matters most. I might have been trying to live vicariously through him since I wanted to participate in any kind of extracurricular activity, but I never pushed.

I finally weigh about three pounds less than the day I gave birth to my son, over 18 years ago, after many ups and downs. My hunny loves me for who I am.

At the end of the day, what I thought I wanted back then is not what I've got, but I'm happy and greatful!

Today, I accept imperfection because who defines perfect anyway? 

37 Years Later and I Accept Imperfection

I accept imperfection because I made it through the first 18 years of motherhood.

I accept imperfection because I found love again; someone who loves me for me.

My son is smart, headstrong and knows what he wants to do with his life; we have food, shelter, health insurance, work.

We're working on spending more time with each other and less time with "things".

We learn from each other. We laugh and we love. That's what matters.

This is our perfect.



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Meet The Vines: After 37 Years, I Finally Found MY Perfect
After 37 Years, I Finally Found MY Perfect
Today, I accept imperfection because who defines perfect anyway?
Meet The Vines
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